The Untold Story of Me, Hedwig
by PurpleCrimson23272
Summary: Hedwig lives, people! She lives! One-shot, and since Hedwig here speaks quite a language it is Rated T.


**A/N: Hey there! So this is a little something I made on a boring night...well, 1:30 a.m., but I guess I could call it night. I wrote it to amuse myself and I guess it fulfilled its purpose. Enjoy! ;)**

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**The Untold Story of Me, Hedwig**

Oi, you there. Yes, you. As you might know, my name is Hedwig, and—oi! Where do you think you're going? I'm still speaking, you filthy thing! You don't believe me? What, you think I'm dead? And who the bloody hell told you that? Oh, right. So you've heard. I fell off Harry Potter's broom. Yeah, and so? Well, I'm very much alive, thank you. I didn't die, obviously. I was just merely excluded from the story. It's a bit like taking a photo with a muggle camera. Not everything on sight will actually appear on the picture, aye? Say, you were posing with whomever, then _flash—there _goes the picture. But you are _excluded _from it. Maybe you didn't move closer like the photographer said, but it doesn't mean you weren't present at that particular time, right? Well, in my case, it doesn't mean I died. Isn't this enough proof? Wanna hear my story? Well then, here it is…

One minute I was in a cage, on a broom, with the ever so famous Harry Potter, and the next thing I knew, my head was crashing against the top of my cage. As I came to my senses, I saw the scenery below getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger—okay, get the picture? Yeah, so with me and my badass instincts, _(_fine, you win this time) With _my badass instincts_ and _I _(happy now?), I tampered with the lock and got out swiftly. Yes that's how awfully smart I am. So with that done, I flew to a nearby tree and waited for the Potter boy to come and fetch me. He'll be finished with those Death Eaters soon enough. He's got awesome skills, and I know he can defeat those gits in the blink of an eye.

And so I wait there…hours, days, weeks. Still, he didn't come looking for me. So I decided, maybe I should look for him. And that was that. I searched for him and eventually found him. I would've made my presence known, but with my owlish feelings, I couldn't. it hurt so bad to see him not even trying with the tiniest of his abilities to find me. Well, you wouldn't understand, you idiot. I'm an owl, for Merlin's sake. Owls are very sensitive when it comes to these things. It's what the other animals call "owlish feelings".

So…back to the story. Yes, I found him with his friends, but I never made my presence known. Though I never left them. I just hid and watched over them so nothing severely awful happens.

But there was this one time—only _once_—that I almost revealed myself. _Almost._ It was the time when Harry Potter was in Hagrid's arms, immobile. I took a minute and analyzed the scene. Then I thought, _Fucking hell, you idiots! He's not dead! I can see his chest rising and falling! Merlin's beard! You all are as stupid as shit!_ I'm sorry, I was hysterical then.

Throughout the whole thing, I watched and laughed maniacally as the so called "invincible" Dark Lord falls limp and dies. You'd think I'd show up after that, right? Nah, I didn't. I preferred watching, but I must say I miss the owl treats so damned much. But anyway…

Blah, blah, blah. Potter married the Weasley girl, and I was there. Yep, I was the owl who happened to be passing by and pooed on Potter's best man's head. I've always disliked the git. The redhead who had nothing to do but eat like a pig and argue with Hermione Granger. I'm surprised she even agreed to marry him. Though the blond, Draco Malfoy, was it? Yeah, that one. He was utterly broken when Granger married Weasley. Can you believe that? The Pureblood actually loved the Muggle-born! How much more awesomeness could this world have?

Anywho, back to Potter. So there was this _very_ disturbing scene when I peeked in his and the Weasley girl's room. I flapped my wings on the window, assuming that they'd stop, but apparently, they didn't give a shit.

So the result was…James Sirius Potter. A prankster, he was. Tut. So much for namesakes. I was also there when Albus Severus Potter was born. A serious, timid young man…though very cunning. And when Lily Luna Potter came to the world, I was also there. Hell, I was always there. She was a girl whose heart was as pure as gold.

As I watch them at this very moment, I can't help but smile as they have their usual family dinner with the Weasleys. Red, black, and brown heads tipping back as they laugh at something Ronald Weasley said. As much as I want to go back, I can't. I have my own life and they have theirs. And besides, they all think I'm dead. Wouldn't want to scare the hell out of them now, do I?

I stay there for a bit, watching every move, giggling owlishly at something one of the jokers in there says. Then I hear a familiar sound. Ah, he's here.

"Gizzy, love! I miss you." I say as the handsome owl lands safely beside me.

"I miss you, too, Wiggy. But please, don't call me that." He says.

"Don't call you what, Giz?" I say innocently.

"What the fuck is with my name that you can't call me by it without revision?"

I giggle. "I'm sorry, Gizmo. C'mon."

"There, much better." He smiles, I smile, we both smile.

"Giz," I say. Maybe it's the tone of my voice that stops him from throwing a fit again with my use of his nickname, I dunno. But he says…

"Yes, Wig?"

I owlishly tiptoe closer to him and cuddle. "I love you. I love you very much."

He smiles. "I love you, too, Wig." He says as he caresses my head with his.

"Wanna go home?" I ask.

"Sure, if you want to." He says,

"Yes." I say as I regain my balance and crouch, ready to fly.

We both reach our tree and rest.

So this is my life now. Got myself a boy and watch over the Potters and Weasleys every now and then. I will always be with them, no matter what. For as long as I live, nothing rash will happen to the Potters and Weasleys. I will never forget them, nor will I ever forsake them. No harm will come to them, over my dead body. Things just have to go like this. And it will stay like this. So now that you know my story, don't tell the Potters that they have an owl who's supposed to be dead, stalking them. Keep this a secret, and I will forever be grateful to you. Thanks for hanging around. Good-bye, for now.

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**A/N: Kinda lame, I know. But I was amused. Haha...take a second and review, yeah? Love y'all! :* xo**


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